A guy is getting ready for work. He drinks his coffee, fixes his tie, gathers his briefcase and walks out of his house. He is almost to his car when he realizes he forgot his keys. He turns around and heads back to the house, suddenly he notices a huge, 300 pound gorilla on his roof. It's beating its chest, pulling off shingles and throwing them on the ground.
"Damn!", says the guy, "I can't go to work with a gorilla on my roof!"
So he goes inside his house and picks up the phone book. Flipping through, not sure who to call, he finds a big, one page ad reading "Gorilla Removal Services". So he quick dials the number.
"Hello, Gorilla Removal Services . ."
"Yeah, I have a gorilla on my roof."
Don't worry, we'll be there soon, just give me the address."
So he gives the person the address and waits outside. 15 minutes later a van pulls up with "Gorilla Removal Services" written on his van. A man gets out and says,
"Ah, gorilla on the roof eh? I'll have him down in no time." And the man starts getting the tools out of his van. He gets a ladder, a pair of handcuffs, a little cage with a snarling pitbull in it, and a shotgun.
"Hey, whats all this stuff for?", says the guy.
"Well, this is what you need to get a gorilla. The procedure is like this, I take the ladder and get up on the roof. I then throw the gorilla off of the roof. As soon as he hits the ground, that pitbull is trained to bust out of the cage and bite him in the balls. The gorilla covers himself with both hands, you slap on the cuffs, and we take him away."
"Well, whats the shotgun for?"
"Thats a safty device. In the unlikely event that the gorilla throws ME off the roof . . .SHOOT THE DOG!"
anybody have any good ones?