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  #21  
Old 09-13-2005, 02:26 AM
Kevin P. Egan's Avatar
Kevin P. Egan Kevin P. Egan is offline
Drewid
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 249
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An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer - you're in the wrong place." So the engineer reports to the gates of Hell and is let in. Pretty soon the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in Hell and starts designing and building improvements. After a while they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.
One day God calls Satan on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?" Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next." God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake - he should never have gotten down there. Send him up here." Satan says, "No way, I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him." God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue." Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
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"I think we can all look forward to the time when these three theories are given equal time in our science classrooms across the country, and eventually the world; One third time for Intelligent Design, one third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence."
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  #22  
Old 09-15-2005, 07:10 PM
Ryan J. Crowley
 
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I loved that joke! Good work, Bald! Glad to know someone else knows it.

Anyways, on to my "contribution"...
A brunette and a blonde are in a bar watching the 6 o'clock news, and the top story is a guy threatening to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge.

The brunette turns to the blonde and says, "Bet you $5 he jumps."

The blonde says, "Deal!"

They watch and sure enough, the guy jumps. As the blonde's about to hand over the money, the brunette makes a confession.

"I can't take this money," she said, "I saw him jump on the 5 o'clock news." To which the blonde replies:

"So did I! I didn't think he'd do it again!"
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  #23  
Old 09-15-2005, 07:11 PM
Zachary C. Kanfer
 
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There should be a rimshot after each one of these posts.
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  #24  
Old 09-15-2005, 11:39 PM
Golbanou Tabatabaie's Avatar
Golbanou Tabatabaie Golbanou Tabatabaie is offline
Elder Drewid
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: we run this town
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...................
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"Can I bring my pet fluffball with me or might he be anally raped by a spoon in the middle of the night?" -Dia
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  #25  
Old 09-16-2005, 12:12 AM
Zachary C. Kanfer
 
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well.

I'll be.
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  #26  
Old 09-16-2005, 12:03 PM
Kevin P. Egan's Avatar
Kevin P. Egan Kevin P. Egan is offline
Drewid
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 249
Default lessons in Biology

Dr. Parker, the biology instructor at a posh suburban girl's junior college, said during class, "Miss Smith, would you please name the organ of the human body, which under the appropriate conditions, expands to six times its normal size, and define the conditions."

Miss Smith gasped, blushed deeply, then said freezingly, Dr. Parker, I do not think that is a proper question to ask me, you should be asking a boy. And I assure you my parents will hear of this." With that she sat down, very red-faced.

Unperturbed, Dr. Parker called on Miss Johnson and asked the same question. Miss Johnson, with composure, replied, "The pupil of the eye, in dim light."

"Correct," said Dr. Parker. "And now, Miss Smith, I have three things to say to you. One, you have not studied your lesson. Two, you have a dirty mind. And three, you will some day be faced with a dreadful disappointment."

rimshot.gif
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"I think we can all look forward to the time when these three theories are given equal time in our science classrooms across the country, and eventually the world; One third time for Intelligent Design, one third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence."
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  #27  
Old 09-16-2005, 03:26 PM
Amanda L. Brennan
 
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So, uh...have you heard Bush's new stance on Roe v. Wade?


[spoiler]
Frankly, he doesn't care how people get out of New Orleans...
[/spoiler]

gah! spoiler tags don't worK! wtf.
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  #28  
Old 09-16-2005, 05:02 PM
Zachary C. Kanfer
 
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use

Code:
[color=white]text here[/colour]

to make spoilers, but spelled "color" both times. I tried to make the code show without using CODE tags, but it didn't work. I was hoping & # 9 1 ; without spaces wouldn't show up until the HTML was processed on the computer, but no luck. and then I couldn't find the way to show the code without mispelling color, or at least mixing American and British. feh.

is there any way to make it so that a part of code isn't processed?

you've found the easter egg. congrats.
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  #29  
Old 09-22-2005, 12:16 PM
Ryan J. Crowley
 
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I'm confused.

You can change the color in the toolbox.

So what is a spoiler tag?
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  #30  
Old 09-22-2005, 02:58 PM
Michael C. Heumann
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ryan J. Crowley
I'm confused.

You can change the color in the toolbox.

So what is a spoiler tag?

You can also change the color using tags, as compared to the menu of colors.
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