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  #1  
Old 06-21-2006, 02:17 PM
Julia Watson
 
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Unhappy Leaving Someone Behind?

Hey, everyone. It's the summer before we leave for school, and there's so much to think about! I was just wondering if anyone else is having "break-up for college" blues. My boyfriend of four years and I are going through the decision making period, and I thought some of you might have some thoughts for me and for each other. Chat away, lovers! Thanks, Julia
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  #2  
Old 06-21-2006, 02:50 PM
Anastasia Q. Sailer's Avatar
Anastasia Q. Sailer Anastasia Q. Sailer is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: West Milford,NJ
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I have been dating a boy named Drew ironically for three years and we decided to stay together and see how things go. I don't think I can give you too much advice because every couple is different but four years is a pretty long time and not easy to give up on. If he's not going to be too far away I wouldn't throw your relationship away too quickly see how things go and if you can't do it, just try and make it a mutual decision so you can still be friends. I think that's the best advice I can give. I hope things turn out for the best.
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  #3  
Old 06-21-2006, 05:23 PM
Julia Watson
 
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That's cool that you two decided to stay together. My boyfriend is going to be in Vermont, so he'll be about six hours away. I feel confident that we could have a long distance relationship, but he has a point when he says that the decisions we then make in school could hold us back (say, i decide not to go abroad because it'd be too long away from eachother- stuff like that). I dunno, maybe just staying friends through school is the best way to go. Thanks a lot for the tip, hope to talk to you more! Best wishes to you and Drew -Julia
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  #4  
Old 06-21-2006, 05:59 PM
John D. Holcomb's Avatar
John D. Holcomb John D. Holcomb is offline
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I have to be upfront about this, I've known people who went through just what you guys are talking about. In the Hundreds of people I have seen make an attempt at maintaining a relationship, long distance, during college, I know only one couple that has graduated and still been together (they are supposed be getting married this summer). As mush as it hurts the best thing you can do for your mental health is to break up, I'm sorry.

If you love somebody,
Set them free...
If they come back, they're yours,
If they don't, they never were....
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  #5  
Old 06-21-2006, 11:59 PM
Anastasia Q. Sailer's Avatar
Anastasia Q. Sailer Anastasia Q. Sailer is offline
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You are right for the most part, most times it doesn't work out at all but I do know at least eight couples who have made it work. If you do break up, I'm sure some good will come out of it too, a college experience is usually important to have before making a huge commitment. Like I said, every couple is different, if you don't think you can make it work maybe breaking up now is better to avoid getting hurt later but if you think you can be that one in a hundred couple that lasts, then definitly try.
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  #6  
Old 06-22-2006, 09:43 AM
Jose M. Marte Jose M. Marte is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 8
Default Break up

I came to college single, but three of my friends came with me. All three of them have broken up a while ago and only one of them still talks to his ex. The other two are girls and they both had tons of drama before breaking up. I'm sorry to say that it doesn't work. The bright side is, that two of them have found someone at Drew and the other is living up the single life. I also found my girlfriend here.
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  #7  
Old 06-22-2006, 11:28 AM
Zachary C. Kanfer
 
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But if you decide that you want to try to keep dating at seperate colleges, make sure you don't spend all your time on the phone with him/her. You need to make sure you meet people at college, and make friends, or you'll be even more miserable than you are missing your significant other.
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  #8  
Old 06-22-2006, 12:00 PM
Kristen Shubeck
 
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I completely agree with John. I think especially for your first year, you need some single time. 4 years is a REALLY long time for dating in our age group. If you guys are meant to be together, it will happen one way or another. I'm a strong believer in fate and all that mushy mushy stuff. I think the best thing (coming from an outsider so take this with a grain of salt) is for you two to just call it quits for now, not breaking up like "I never want to talk to you again!!" but taking some time to figure out who you are, and who you want to be, and see how they fit in with that. It's the tougher sounding choice but I think in the end you will look back and see that it was good to do your own thing for a while, no matter if you get back together or stay apart.
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  #9  
Old 06-22-2006, 12:52 PM
Yaroslava Goncharova
 
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I'm currently dating. It was a question that arose in the beginning of our relationship. We decided to stay together and see if it works out. If anything happens such as finding another person that we like then we'd breakup.
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  #10  
Old 06-22-2006, 02:16 PM
Caitlin Gallagher
 
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I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half now, and even though his school is only 30 mins from Drew we decided that at somepoint during my freshman year we will atleast take a break. He was supposed to go to China in the fall which would have made it easier but it fell through. I love him very, but know it is not realistic to be with only him during the next 4 years.
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